Thursday, February 7, 2013

Offered: Three Month Mentorship with the Evil League of Evil Writers Spot #2


What You Are Bidding On:

A three month mentorship (not membership) with the Evil League of Evil Writers for writers.

Description:

This mentorship includes: emails regarding your laughable writing goals and woeful ambitions, weekly check-in emails to discuss your progress or lack thereof, a monthly chapter critique of your latest piece of…er…work in progress, discussion/questions addressed regarding the publishing industry (not including self-publishing), and copious amounts of discouragement and harsh criticism.

You do not get to choose which members of the ELEW mentor you (however, the genre you write will be taken into consideration). Rest assured, we are ALL evil.

What? You do realize you're bidding on mentorship from the Evil League of Evil Writers, right?

Our mission statement: 

The Evil League of Evil Writers does not support whining, crying, sniveling, whimpering or bawling about writing, publishing or any aspect thereof. If you're looking for a shoulder to cry on or a sympathetic ear about the rejection letter you've gotten from a literary agent, or a bad review of your work, you will not find it here. 

The ELEW strives to foster realism and toughness amongst the writing community. The ELEW teaches coping skills and eviltry to writers both seasoned and new. Speshul snoflakes [sic] will be mocked, laughed at, and stabbed with sharp objects before being kicked in their butt-hurt rears. But we like pie. 

We might fake sympathy if you bring us pie. Really good pie. 

NOTE: 

Pie not included in this auction. Get your own.

Minimum Bid: 

$25

Geographical Restrictions: 

None

How to Bid:

In the comment section, leave a message with the amount you are bidding. We ask that you pledge in whole dollar increments ($1, $5, etc), and in US funds. Remember to only bid what you'll be able to commit to.

Bidding is open until February 15, 2013 at 5:00 p.m. PST (8:00 p.m. EST) so check back on your favorite auctions and bid often!

When the auction has closed, we'll email you about your winning status. We ask that you donate directly to Crestline Elementary (payment options will be forwarded) and send us the receipt as verification. If we haven't heard back from you within forty-eight hours, we'll send one more email (check your spam folders) and if nothing is heard twenty-four hours after that, we'll move to the next highest bidder.

5 comments:

  1. I need evil mentoring! Right now I am only moderately bad. I even passed a baby on the street the other day and didn't take her candy!

    Please help me.

    I will open the bid at $30

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am tired of crit partners who are too nice. If I wanted nice I'd have mom edit it. I need EVIL. Shred it. Murder it. Put on your stompy boots and make like Godzilla on holiday in Tokyo. DON'T PULL PUNCHES.

    I bid $70.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replies
    1. You have triumphed over evil!

      We were unable to locate any contact information for you. Please contact us at dina [at] dinajames [dot] com to receive instructions on how to claim your bid!

      If we don't hear from you for 72 hours, your win will go to the next highest bidder!

      Thank you!

      Delete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your bid!

Please be sure to read the instructions on the listing carefully. By bidding on this item, you understand that you will pay the amount pledged for the item should you win. Also double check the listing for shipping information along with the minimum opening bid.

And leave us a way to contact you! Ensure either you include an email address with your comment or your profile includes an email address. Winners who can't be contacted will forfeit their winnings and we'll go to the next bidder. We're evil, not psychic. (Yet...)